Wednesday, February 15, 2017

21:14

If I were to describe myself, I would be, like a tree I hope. Because when you're a tree, you provide shade from the sun and sometimes the rain. You give out oxygen, so that's definately benefits the world altogether. But people only want me when they feel like it, or thats how I feel. My roots would be firmly grasping the soil, means when you really want me and you need me, I wont ever leave, heheh, and if you needed some shelter, you'll find me by the roadside hovering over you, uuu.

I hope I'm like a tree to whoever that loves me, but please cherish me, on behalf of all the trees in the world, cherish us and all the benefits we've been giving you, for free; our love (oxygen, speaking as trees).

Text me back please, humor me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

08:33

I finished reading a book just now. Ha, it was fast because I couldn't get myself to read throughout the content, all because it has to many unecessary narration of the current situation in it! It's not poetry, the words are not as good, but its decent for kids story book. I know, my mistake for buying it. Hey its because I was in a rush to buy books at the Big Bad Wolf, you'll understand how crazy you'll be when you're at that kind of place with all tons of books being stocked up on sale. Its crazy.
Off to a new book to be read,

Have a Good Day.

01:06

I would like to tell you a story. I haven't been writing in such a long time that I find myself lost with words, words that actually potrays what I feel, what I see and how I want to interpret my feelings and views on things. Its like I'm losing my memory. I couldn't pronounce or spell the words I wanted and the most frustrating thing of all was, I can't express myself because I got conflicted in using english or malay. My words, my dear dear words. I love english so much. Thats how I express myself last time, through writing. Sadly now, I cloudn't get myself to read, or finish a chapter, let alone reading through an article. My eyes got cought up reading to fast but my brain (poor unfortunate brain) have not been exercising with reading any interesting or good material in these past years, so I end up re-reading, sometimes outloud what is it that I am trying to digest. I was, WAS, and almost-avid-reader. Thank God I knew that word, else I'll be saying I am a fast reader,almost fast.

Hence, the story is genuinely (just because I've been using the word basic quite a lot) about my struggle to complete a well-thought-out english sentence so I don't sound ridiculous. Its an exercise, my remedy to being a well-structure-english-sentence-student, again. or so I hope.

What triggered this? I actually watched the new CW tv series, Riverdale. An incarnation of the archie comic with a twist of dark humour,mysterie and so far, a good storyline. What atrracts me the most was Jughead's narration at the beginning and the end of each episode. The words were beautifully crafted (thou I may be exaggerating here) that I find myself wanting for more, like I wish I could read the book about this. I have a lot of books in my possession, there's no need for me to get a new one. My unsolved issue right now is, I haven't finish the books that I bought. In fact, I should do so right now.

Good Night.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Sunday, July 24, 2016

hang try digest ni elok-elok

Not everything is sunshine and daisies. I am doing my best not to be a pretentious ass kisser. I'm trying to be true, trying to do what I think is right. However, right now it's hard, because you have to deal with these immature act that comes along with what you stand for. Just because you don't see things the way they do. But I did hurt them when I say those words. It's just that I made a statement that it's annoying and  I precisely said, minimize the talk on those things that only a fraction of you do understand, minimize, not reduce to ashes, and better yet, enlighten us with what ever you guys are talking about. It is after all a community group, meaning there is a lot, and different kind of people that exist in the group.
Yet you guys took it wrongly, partly I am to be blamed. I just hope and wished, those you see in red would overcome the immaturity and try to see it in other's shoes. I am not perfect, I assure you, but I am willing to learn. I am so fed up of being stepped on, but I am also learning on how to be nicer when criticizing people or tell people off. That was not to be mean, but to fix the bad attitude that we carry on and let people behave rudely to each other.

Back to doing the right thing, so I thought I was doing justice when I stand up for a friend, though my words were harsh, but I'm not the only one with blood on her hands. Anyway, it seems that nobody really cares, they wouldn't want to get their hands dirty. And I go down with a sinking ship, alone. I guess I have to learn my lesson. Some people who actually cares should keep mum on things and turn a blind eye. Because I end up getting hurt alone. Hell no to that, I'll just have to find a different way to approach things.

I'm pretty sure some of them feels like I'm some lalang, no backbone, pretentious perhaps, but I'll be kind as long as I can. No pretending. I still believe that all of you, the rest of the world, are good, everyone was pure and still am pure good. It's the world that tainted them, wrong doings, past mistakes, harsh life, different upbringing. That makes you guys see it the way you do, but I hope Allah would clear your paths, clear you sights, clear you heart and mind, to see whats beyond things, so that friendship can be restored again. Love, all you need is Allah's Love.

And I hope, one day those who I have sinned, would forgive me, and would find peace in forgiving others too. in shaa Allah.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

the pretentious heartless you are,what you are not

its because i know ur that kind of person. you act like you dont give a shit but you give evry shits n think ur opinion is the only one matters. and i cnt tolerate those negativity, its because i read those kind of commnt or opinion tht my mind n my heart is affected to see bad, to feel bad. so i choose not to. and i reject all the negativity you represents. no matter how bad it is, there is always reason behind every doings. and all the bad feedback you get, doesnt mean tht you hve to give back the same bad stuff. it starts with you. how you take the bad, neutralize it and turn it into good, or just pure nothing. the more you hold grudges, the more it eats your soul an you become the so called pretentious heartless. but its all your fault for seeing it the way you did. unless you man up, and put urself in other peoples shoes, you are never going to escape from your world of everything sucks. when Allah clearly created this world to be cherish and to prepare for the heareafter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

cil

the other day we celebrated my eldest brothers post birthday family meal. so we went to chilli's for lunch. the ambience was nice, we laughed and talked and poked fun on each other. doing what we do best. then it was time for dessert and mum cracked a joke tht mimicks my late brothers. . . we stopped talking. our face still holds a smile, our laughter a little inaudible. but our eyes just gaze on each other with tears. oh how much we missed him that very moment.