Tuesday, December 22, 2015

... and beyond

It’s still awkward brother, where are you, I wish I could ask you that and pretend I don’t know. But that’s like defying Allah’s will. That’s not what I want. That’s not what you’d want either. Not thinking about you makes me forget for a while, that emptiness inside me, inside us. I have a feeling that mom is a little pissed that maybe we move on a little too fast, she hates the thought of us already over your death. No, she’s wrong, she’s far from right. It still aches in each and every one of us. Honestly, I never forget you, not a single day passes not thinking about you even for a second. I bet momma thought of you the most, in most of her du’as, in her prayer, in her sight, in her mind. Abah? He’s suffering , just as hard as Ibu. Thou, he have his ways of covering his sadness. Abapis, he loves you too much, slowly progressing for better in shaa Allah. I did something stupid again today. I tried calling you, hoping you take that call, hoping you say ;ndrah~ kenape… I’m used to this stupidity.  

Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Those who laugh loudest are the most loneliest. Pretending that its okay, when it's not, most certainly not. I have a theory, but I'd rather keep that theory to myself. It's a theory of why things happen. Among other theory that I developed. The first half of the year, I started my university life, it was challenging, very. Then Allah soothe it down for the second semester, but He gave me, gave us this. He took away apart of us, that can never be replace. And its excruciating. I'm still grieving

Monday, November 9, 2015


It's the semester break, and I have tons of homework to do. I had a conversation with my sister that leads to us comparing our bullshits, firstly because she was complaining about having so many of them (hw's) and she said my reply was bull. Hermm. Basically we were comparing our 'bullshits'. Apparently I love my bullshits. They are on their way to become fertilizers.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

No leads

I don't want to lead. I want teamwork. That's probably why I asked for others opinion. Yet, that left me hanging with the questions. I didn't mean to be the one who delivers bad news, or any kind of news, yet, here I am. So please, please give your full cooperation. Is it so utterly heavy to lift a finger and agree/ disagree/ a bit of both, or better yet , come up with a much brilliant solutions. Because, at the end of the day, I am the one who face the music.

Help me, this is me, asking for your help. Please help me, I don't want to do this alone.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015



When The Lord wants to test you, He'll just do it, Kun! And there you go, off feeling horrible.

Subhanallah, how great our Allah, He test us, :D I just couldn't stop smiling

There is a reason for everything , its just Subhanallah.

May Allah ease this, in shaa Allah, amin.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Why Do People Live At The Studio.

Studios are a sanctuary for architecture student. Without a studio, there will be no home, no classroom, no meet up, no tutorials and  most importantly, no work place. It is so sacred that everything evolves around, within, in between and always cross-path with the studio. We rest our heads on tables, chairs, cut out boxes, mat, old clothes, etc, anything that would provide some-sort of base or cover for our bodies. Today we discuss on why live in studio when you have a bed at home.

1. Work
Submission, crit, presentation, review, crit-like tutorials, all of these can drive architecture student mad of the ridiculous work to be done within the given time frame. Some, with special abilities are able to cope up with the work and produce zestful design ideas and concept, while the norm suffered the deadlines pressure.

2. The studio have air conditioner.
These are proven really handy during hot days (and nights). Although, the air within the studios regulates carbon dioxide is making the air cooler, makes you unhealthy .

3. Free water supply, free internet, free life?
Explains enough.

4. Budak studio
Or.. the studio people, the regulars, ones who often eat,live,breathe studio. They are the essentials that brings life to the studio, the more the merrier, the merrier the better. Those who can't or unable to do work (or focused themselves to do work) often resort to doing work at the studio, such because, when there is people, there are point of reference, and.. when you need a short nap, there are few people who are willing (or unwillingly) wake you back to work.

5. Food
Sometimes, one of the studio ppl would come and bring food from home. Sometime, the subject of hunger can be addictive and we end up eating, rather than doing work. hah-ha. The best times are, when one person decides to go out for a meal, others end up ordering drinks (or food).bungkuih ikat penoh!

6. Stuff
There's a lot of stuff to bring,or to do, for your work. Sometimes they're big and wide (A1 board) sometimes small and handy. We need the space. The downside is; at some point, you'll loose stuff in the studio. always. ;(

I guess, that concludes of all the things i think why do people stay/live in the studio, when you have a bed at home (or rumah sewa).

Friday, March 27, 2015

Give me a moment to write you a story

Kisah Senibina or Story of Architecture.

It has been almost a month. A month of anxiety, breath-taking, chills, scary to the pit, self-doubt, self-discovery, patience, all in all, an exciting and dangerous journey.
While we the polies (from polytechnics) struggle to adjust and adapt to the surroundings, our mind were full of thoughts. I would put in a way, back then (in polytechnics) our imaginations were barricaded with rules and regulations that bind our way of thinking. Now, everything is possible, if and only if you can justify yourself (your design).
Another way to put things, we are all in a maze, an exciting, disturbing, evokes fear and abnormalities yet astonishingly beautiful ideas that lay ahead, waiting to be merge in your design kind of maze and while the original part four archi students have already stepped into the maze (some climbed over, some went through the walls, others just found their way throughout the maze itself) , we polies just discovered how to actually climb those walls, to fly and believe things are possible.

Give a little time to me

To work this out

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Read me apologies.

I must have sounded selfish the last time I wrote. The one about the chingus.. haha. I'm sorry, I didnt mean to be so deep about my thoughts, but it was genuine. When I read back, I thought I sounded ridiculously selfish for saying stuff like that. Again, my thousand apologies. Anyway, I don't want you to be bothered with those words anymore, yes its true I was upset, but not anymore, okay? I over-think a LOT, If we see each other, remind me to buy you an ice-cream, my apologetic gesture to you, hehee. I love my friends, and I have my flaws, some are still undiscovered, and I should'n judge beforehand.

sincerely, the selfish-idiotic-ridiculous writer.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Say something~ Will you?!

Salam, sudah lama tak dengar suara kau, wajah kau pun aku curi-curi pandang pabila kau post sesuatu, itu pun kalau ada wajahnya. Apa khabar? kataku, kabare? waras? tanyaku lagi. Teringin nak dengar cerita kau, peristiwa kau, hari-hari kau, perasaan kau, susah-senang kau. Jangan risau, aku takkan terasa kecil, cuma jalan cerita aku masih lagi sama, itu sebab aku nak dengar cerita kau, jauh, jauhh lagi menarik dari hari-hari ku. Hahaa, bukan bererti cerita aku tiada naik turunnya, cuma tak semenarik cerita kau, kabarkanlah pada aku ye, aku rindu suara kau, cerita kau, sudilah cerita.