Saturday, October 29, 2016

Sunday, July 24, 2016

hang try digest ni elok-elok

Not everything is sunshine and daisies. I am doing my best not to be a pretentious ass kisser. I'm trying to be true, trying to do what I think is right. However, right now it's hard, because you have to deal with these immature act that comes along with what you stand for. Just because you don't see things the way they do. But I did hurt them when I say those words. It's just that I made a statement that it's annoying and  I precisely said, minimize the talk on those things that only a fraction of you do understand, minimize, not reduce to ashes, and better yet, enlighten us with what ever you guys are talking about. It is after all a community group, meaning there is a lot, and different kind of people that exist in the group.
Yet you guys took it wrongly, partly I am to be blamed. I just hope and wished, those you see in red would overcome the immaturity and try to see it in other's shoes. I am not perfect, I assure you, but I am willing to learn. I am so fed up of being stepped on, but I am also learning on how to be nicer when criticizing people or tell people off. That was not to be mean, but to fix the bad attitude that we carry on and let people behave rudely to each other.

Back to doing the right thing, so I thought I was doing justice when I stand up for a friend, though my words were harsh, but I'm not the only one with blood on her hands. Anyway, it seems that nobody really cares, they wouldn't want to get their hands dirty. And I go down with a sinking ship, alone. I guess I have to learn my lesson. Some people who actually cares should keep mum on things and turn a blind eye. Because I end up getting hurt alone. Hell no to that, I'll just have to find a different way to approach things.

I'm pretty sure some of them feels like I'm some lalang, no backbone, pretentious perhaps, but I'll be kind as long as I can. No pretending. I still believe that all of you, the rest of the world, are good, everyone was pure and still am pure good. It's the world that tainted them, wrong doings, past mistakes, harsh life, different upbringing. That makes you guys see it the way you do, but I hope Allah would clear your paths, clear you sights, clear you heart and mind, to see whats beyond things, so that friendship can be restored again. Love, all you need is Allah's Love.

And I hope, one day those who I have sinned, would forgive me, and would find peace in forgiving others too. in shaa Allah.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

the pretentious heartless you are,what you are not

its because i know ur that kind of person. you act like you dont give a shit but you give evry shits n think ur opinion is the only one matters. and i cnt tolerate those negativity, its because i read those kind of commnt or opinion tht my mind n my heart is affected to see bad, to feel bad. so i choose not to. and i reject all the negativity you represents. no matter how bad it is, there is always reason behind every doings. and all the bad feedback you get, doesnt mean tht you hve to give back the same bad stuff. it starts with you. how you take the bad, neutralize it and turn it into good, or just pure nothing. the more you hold grudges, the more it eats your soul an you become the so called pretentious heartless. but its all your fault for seeing it the way you did. unless you man up, and put urself in other peoples shoes, you are never going to escape from your world of everything sucks. when Allah clearly created this world to be cherish and to prepare for the heareafter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016


the other day we celebrated my eldest brothers post birthday family meal. so we went to chilli's for lunch. the ambience was nice, we laughed and talked and poked fun on each other. doing what we do best. then it was time for dessert and mum cracked a joke tht mimicks my late brothers. . . we stopped talking. our face still holds a smile, our laughter a little inaudible. but our eyes just gaze on each other with tears. oh how much we missed him that very moment.

Sunday, January 31, 2016


If you give me a logical problem, I may find a logical solution. If you explain to me technically how things work, I will understand and work my way out of things, in shaa Allah. Drawings, specifications, techniques, methods, flow, those, I can comprehend. Now the world we live in is not made of entirely all that. In fact it has become so brutal, I wonder who put a price tag on our land and soil and air and every benefits comes from it and make it theirs. I have been avoiding, I have been ignoring the issues that circles our great nation. I love Malaysia, I do, with all my heart and soul, wallahi. I would gladly help making It into a better nation. But I can’t help being skeptical on how things run nowadays. The politics have become so filthy, I just couldn’t find the logic on why people who runs the country (or help runs it) did what they did!? Their minds are clouded with greed and power, they symbolise the monster we mistaken for people. I choose to ignore, because when I care too much, my heart will be engulf in pain and hatred of what we’ve become as a country that stands on power of democracy. Well to hell with that. I can’t see what’s wrong or wright anymore. Religions have been twisted to accommodate the words of a selfish minister. Laws are bent to fulfil the needs (GREED) of a supposed criminal. Those who FIGHTS for their WRIGHTS! Punished??!!!
And mostly because I never stop caring, and I care too much, but I can't do anything about it except du'a. Astaghfirullahalazim, please Ya Rabb, save my home, my land, for now it have been sold slowly to the outsiders.